{"id":3914,"date":"2025-05-16T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-16T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.backstagelenses.com\/?p=3914"},"modified":"2025-05-16T20:41:59","modified_gmt":"2025-05-16T20:41:59","slug":"awkward-intros-to-cringey-dms-10-networking-mistakes-experts-say-you-need-to-avoid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.backstagelenses.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/16\/awkward-intros-to-cringey-dms-10-networking-mistakes-experts-say-you-need-to-avoid\/","title":{"rendered":"Awkward intros to cringey DMs: 10 networking mistakes experts say you need to avoid"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know networking matters. Everyone says so. But when you’re in the moment \u2014 sending a connection request, making small talk at an event, or following up after a meeting \u2014 it\u2019s easy to second-guess yourself.<\/p>\n

Am I coming across as too eager? Too transactional? Should I even reach out at all?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been there. When I first started networking on LinkedIn, I thought I had to impress people with long, detailed messages. So I sent 500-word InMails, packed with my background, why I admired their work, and exactly how I thought we could collaborate.<\/p>\n

I was sure they\u2019d be impressed. Instead? Crickets. No responses.<\/p>\n

Over time, I learned what works and what doesn\u2019t, both from experience and from observing people who do it effortlessly. Let\u2019s break down the biggest mistakes and how to do better.<\/p>\n

\"\u2192<\/a><\/p>\n

Networking Mistakes to Avoid<\/h2>\n

Not too long ago, networking mostly happened at conferences, coffee meetings, and industry events. You had to shake hands, make eye contact, and navigate small talk in real time. Now, with LinkedIn, you can connect with anyone, anywhere, at any time.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a huge advantage \u2014 but it also means more ways to make a bad first impression.<\/p>\n

I contacted my LinkedIn community and asked them to share their biggest networking blunders. I\u2019m also sharing some examples (sent to me and by me).<\/p>\n

In this section, you\u2019ll learn the virtual and in-person mistakes that make networking feel awkward, ineffective, or even damaging your professional reputation.<\/p>\n

In-Person Networking Mistakes<\/h3>\n

Conferences, industry meetups, coffee chats \u2014 anywhere professionals gather, there\u2019s an opportunity to make helpful connections. But in-person networking comes with its own set of challenges. You\u2019re juggling first impressions, real-time conversations, and the pressure to be memorable, all while trying not to<\/em> come across as awkward or pushy.<\/p>\n

The good news? Most networking mistakes are easy to fix once you know what to look out for. Here are five common missteps to avoid.<\/p>\n

1. Showing up without a plan.<\/h4>\n

If you don\u2019t know why you\u2019re attending an event or who you want to meet, you\u2019ll struggle to make genuine connections. Without a plan, you risk feeling out of place, missing key opportunities, or leaving early without any takeaways.<\/p>\n

Harshala Chavan<\/a>, founder of Merrative<\/a>, a community of industry and academic experts, experienced this firsthand:<\/p>\n

\"networking<\/p>\n

To avoid this, set clear goals before attending. Research attendees or speakers, identify a few people you\u2019d like to connect with, and prepare a couple of conversation starters. Having a plan makes networking feel intentional rather than overwhelming.<\/p>\n

2. Mistaking quantity for quality.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m naturally social, but at one conference, I cranked it up to another level, talking to as many people as possible and exchanging LinkedIn connections left and right.<\/p>\n

The problem? Most of those connections didn\u2019t mean anything. I was so focused on meeting everyone<\/em> that I barely had any productive conversations.<\/p>\n

A week later, I looked at my LinkedIn inbox \u2014 dozens of new contacts but barely any replies when I followed up.<\/p>\n

Quality connections come from genuine conversations where you learn about someone’s challenges, share relevant insights, and establish actual rapport.<\/p>\n

One thoughtful 15-minute conversation can be worth more than 20 rushed introductions. Focus on making a few people remember you rather than forgetting dozens yourself.<\/p>\n

3. Holding back and missing opportunities.<\/h4>\n

Networking can be draining, especially if you\u2019re not naturally extroverted. But if you let that discomfort keep you from engaging, you might leave an event without making any new connections.<\/p>\n

Saloni Ordia<\/a>, a B2B SaaS freelancer writer, recalled attending her first big industry event, only to leave regretting that she hadn\u2019t introduced herself to anyone.<\/p>\n

\"networking<\/p>\n

Similarly, Kuba Czubajewski<\/a>, Founder of content agency StoryAngled<\/a>, admitted:<\/p>\n

\"networking<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to stick to what feels safe, whether it\u2019s standing on the sidelines or talking only to people you already know. But pushing yourself just a little outside your comfort zone can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

Instead of aiming to meet everyone, set a small, achievable goal: introduce yourself to three new people, ask one speaker a question, or join a conversation already in progress. The more you do it, the easier it gets.<\/p>\n

4. Oversharing your research.<\/h4>\n

There\u2019s preparation \u2014 and then there\u2019s oversharing.<\/p>\n

Before a conference, I had a few leads in mind and did my homework. I checked out their LinkedIn posts, read their articles, and noted discussion points I could bring up. So far, so good.<\/p>\n

Then I met them. And in my eagerness to show I was prepared<\/em>, I blurted out that I had read all<\/em> of their posts before coming.<\/p>\n

Their smile froze, and they nodded awkwardly before quickly shifting the conversation.<\/p>\n

Yikes. Stalker-level.<\/p>\n

Research is great \u2014 it helps you start important conversations \u2014 but you don\u2019t need to lay it all out. Instead, use your knowledge naturally. Mention a recent post of theirs if it fits the conversation, but don\u2019t make it sound like you\u2019ve been studying them for weeks.<\/p>\n

Keep it casual, and they\u2019ll appreciate the interest without feeling like they need a restraining order.<\/p>\n

5. Making the conversation one-sided.<\/h4>\n

Networking is about building relationships, not delivering a monologue. But in the moment, especially when you\u2019re trying to make a strong impression, it\u2019s easy to fall into the trap of only talking about yourself \u2014 your work, your projects, your goals.<\/p>\n

The problem? People remember how you make them feel, not just what you say. And if the conversation feels like a one-person TED Talk, they\u2019ll tune out fast.<\/p>\n

A good conversation leaves the other person feeling valued and heard.<\/p>\n

Try the 70\/30 rule: spend 70% of your time listening and asking thoughtful questions like \u201cHow did you get into this industry?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s the most exciting project you\u2019re working on?\u201d and only 30% talking about yourself.<\/p>\n

LinkedIn Networking Mistakes<\/h3>\n

Consider this my version of LinkedIn Lunatics<\/em><\/a>. I\u2019ve seen it all \u2014 and I\u2019ve got receipts.<\/p>\n

LinkedIn, at its best, is an incredible place to build meaningful professional relationships. But at its worst? It\u2019s a playground for networking missteps that range from mildly awkward to outright cringe.<\/p>\n

As Sara Stella Lattanzio<\/a>, Head of Marketing at professional services firm Stryber<\/a> says, bad networking happens more often than we\u2019d like to admit.<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all been on the receiving end of bad LinkedIn networking, but let\u2019s be honest \u2014 most of us have probably made a few of these mistakes ourselves.<\/p>\n

So here are five of the biggest virtual networking missteps you\u2019ll want to avoid.<\/p>\n

1. Messing up the follow-up.<\/h4>\n

Following up is good. Following up badly<\/em> is a fast way to burn a bridge.<\/p>\n

Our 2024 State of Sales Report<\/a> highlights how 36% of sales managers say that follow-ups sent to high-quality leads are the most important tracking metric. That means follow-ups are a key factor in whether a conversation turns into an opportunity.<\/p>\n

Freelance copywriter Laura Ilioaei<\/a> learned this the hard way:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

A good follow-up is polite, thoughtful, and adds value. A bad one is pushy, impatient, or too informal for the situation. Instead of a one-word nudge, try re-engaging with something useful:<\/p>\n

\u201cHi [Name], I know you\u2019re busy, but I wanted to follow up on my message. No rush at all\u2014just wanted to see if you might have time to connect when it works for you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Timing and frequency matter just as much as content. That follow-up email you’re itching to send 24 hours after your initial message? Hold off.<\/p>\n

Give busy professionals at least a week before your first follow-up, then space additional attempts 2-3 weeks apart.<\/p>\n

And know when to take the hint; after two or three unanswered messages, it\u2018s time to move on. The professional world runs on mutual respect, and part of that is recognizing when someone isn\u2019t interested in connecting right now.<\/p>\n

2. Asking for too much right away.<\/h4>\n

Networking isn\u2019t a shortcut to free coaching. But some people treat it that way, skipping the relationship-building part and jumping straight to big asks.<\/p>\n

I get countless DMs from other freelancers who want advice, referrals, or a full breakdown of my client strategy \u2014 without ever engaging with me before. Here\u2019s one I received:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

No introduction. No effort to build a connection. Just an immediate request for insider knowledge.<\/p>\n

Instead of cold DMs asking for a favor, try warm pitching. Engage with their content, comment thoughtfully, and offer value first. For example, if you admire someone\u2019s work, share how it\u2019s helped you.<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

Build genuine rapport, and when the time comes to ask for advice, they\u2019ll actually want to help.<\/p>\n

3. Coming across as desperate.<\/h4>\n

There\u2019s no way to sugarcoat this: desperation is a networking killer.<\/p>\n

For example, you might think offering an incentive makes your request more appealing, but in reality, it can backfire. Sam Wright<\/a>, Head of Operations and Partnerships at AI resume builder platform Huntr<\/a>, shared his experience:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

Another cringey way you can approach connections is by oversharing personal struggles to get a favor.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve received many messages from people saying they\u2019re struggling to find jobs and support their families. It puts me in a tough position. I understand the struggle, but when a complete stranger frames their request this way, it feels less like networking and more like emotional pressure.<\/p>\n

Instead, create mutual value. Show genuine interest in the other person\u2018s work or expertise. Ask specific, thoughtful questions that demonstrate you\u2019ve done your homework.<\/p>\n

Or better yet, offer something helpful first \u2014 share an article relevant to their recent post or introduce them to someone in your network who might be valuable to them.<\/p>\n

4. Leave AI-generated comments on their posts.<\/h4>\n

Now, this is something new \u2026 and painfully obvious when it happens.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably seen them \u2014 bland, generic LinkedIn comments that sound robotic and offer zero value. Something like:<\/p>\n

\"using<\/p>\n

Or worse, AI-generated comments that repeat the post almost word for word.<\/p>\n

\"using<\/p>\n

We notice<\/em> when comments feel inauthentic. And if your first impression on someone is an AI-generated reply, you\u2019ve already signaled that you\u2019re not invested in the conversation.<\/p>\n

Content strategist and writer Tanaaz Khan<\/a> summarizes the problem with AI-generated comments perfectly:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

Instead, take a few extra seconds to add a real thought. React to something specific in the post, share a quick related experience, or ask a follow-up question. Thoughtful comments start honest conversations \u2014 copy-paste ones get ignored.<\/p>\n

5. Sending mysteriously empty messages.<\/h4>\n

I recently received this complete LinkedIn message:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

That’s it. Nothing else. No context, no introduction, no question, no call to action \u2014 just those two words floating alone in my inbox.<\/p>\n

What exactly am I supposed to do with \u201cHi, ma’am\u201d? Reply with an equally vague \u201cHello\u201d? Guess what they might want? Play a digital version of 20 questions to extract their actual purpose?<\/p>\n

This lazy networking puts the entire burden of interaction on the recipient.<\/p>\n

The strangest part is that the sender likely believes they\u2018ve initiated a conversation when, in reality, they\u2019ve created a dead end. Without substance, there’s simply nowhere for the conversation to go.<\/p>\n

If you’re reaching out, include your purpose, a specific question, or, at minimum, a complete thought. Your message should give the recipient something concrete to respond to, not a communication riddle to solve.<\/p>\n

3 Tips to Get Networking Right<\/h2>\n

Networking doesn\u2019t have to feel forced. At its core, it\u2019s just about having genuine conversations and building relationships over time.<\/p>\n

The problem? A lot of people either overthink it or rush into it without a concrete strategy.<\/p>\n

If you want to network in a way that actually leads to opportunities (without feeling awkward or desperate), here are three key things to keep in mind.<\/p>\n

1. Read and respond to conversational cues.<\/h3>\n

Iryna Kutnyak<\/a>, Director of Operations at content agency Quoleady<\/a>, shares a relatable moment many of us have experienced:<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

Iryna’s story highlights a crucial networking skill: the ability to read conversational cues and pivot accordingly.<\/p>\n

People give off subtle signals about their comfort level, interest, and familiarity in networking situations. Picking up on these cues \u2014 confused expressions, hesitant responses, or enthusiastic engagement \u2014 lets you adjust your approach in real time.<\/p>\n

When someone seems uncertain or uncomfortable, create space with open-ended questions. When they show excitement about a topic, dig deeper. And when you sense they don’t remember you (or vice versa), offer context without making it awkward.<\/p>\n

This adaptive approach keeps conversations flowing naturally and helps build genuine connections, even in potentially uncomfortable situations.<\/p>\n

2. Use small talk as a gateway to deeper conversations.<\/h3>\n

A simple \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/em> might seem like just a polite opener, but it\u2019s an opportunity to steer the conversation in a constructive direction.<\/p>\n

As content strategist Lara Eviota<\/a> shared:<\/p>\n

\"networking<\/p>\n

Instead of defaulting to a one-word answer, use \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/em> as a chance to introduce something interesting about yourself.<\/p>\n

Try: \u201cGood! Just wrapped up a project on [topic]\u2014it made me rethink how [related insight]. What about you?\u201d <\/em>This gives the other person something to latch onto, making it easier to spark a real, engaging conversation.<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t be too transactional.<\/h3>\n

The transactional networker’s mindset is obvious: they appear when they need something and disappear until their next request. They treat relationships as purely utilitarian, focused solely on what others can do for them.<\/p>\n

I get it \u2014 we\u2018re all in it for professional growth. But it shouldn\u2019t be limited to just your own.<\/p>\n

Networking is<\/em> about genuinely connecting with others. Our data shows that 82% of sales professionals<\/a> say building strong relationships is the most crucial and rewarding aspect of the sales process.<\/p>\n

That applies beyond sales. Strong professional relationships open doors to referrals, collaborations, and unexpected opportunities, not just one-off transactions.<\/p>\n

I regularly share insights on LinkedIn, things like actionable advice, workflow improvements, or lessons learned. I also actively connect people with opportunities, whether that\u2019s recommending a freelancer or introducing someone to a potential mentor.<\/p>\n

\"linkedin<\/p>\n

Building genuine professional relationships means staying connected even when you don’t need anything. For example:<\/p>\n